Why I Should Be President

I would like to ask for your vote as I run for President of this Fair Land.

I believe in our most core values.

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And I too have been known for making unwanted advances on beautiful women.

 

I also have been victimized by the rigged and corrupt legal system.

 

In the past I have associated with cruel and malicious despots.

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And yet I get along famously with the common man.

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I am firmly grounded in reality.

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And I am well read.

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I have a sound platform founded in consistent and thoughtful policy.

 

I am not opposed to the right kind of Muslims.

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And most importantly, I have always stood by Native Americans.

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May we all join hands together in our journey to make this Land great again.

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