I would like to ask for your vote as I run for President of this Fair Land.
I believe in our most core values.
And I too have been known for making unwanted advances on beautiful women.
I also have been victimized by the rigged and corrupt legal system.
In the past I have associated with cruel and malicious despots.
And yet I get along famously with the common man.
I am firmly grounded in reality.
And I am well read.
I have a sound platform founded in consistent and thoughtful policy.
I am not opposed to the right kind of Muslims.
And most importantly, I have always stood by Native Americans.
May we all join hands together in our journey to make this Land great again.