So I’m in this hotel. I got some crazy ass free upgrade. Corner room – actually rooms, like 900 sf. and a bathtub that could fit three people. Except that I don’t have three people: just me. And it’s 9:30 am and I feel I need to take advantage of this tub and I have this fantasy (wait, stop, check your thoughts – this isn’t going where you think):

I’m in the deep swimming pool tub. The water is hot and steaming. A dry cappuccino in a porcelain cup rests delicately beside me. A plate of buttery pastries with fruit jam. I’m reading the New York Times, careful not to get the edges wet. My phone buzzes. I pick it up and glance at the message. 4 letters, some number. I purse my lip and ponder for a moment. I carefully text back the word SELL. I return to my paper.

Nice.